Skip to main content

Shakti Journey: Day 1

 Captains Log: Day 1 

(because I'm the captain of this body. Rawr!)


So there I am, nose pressed to my pink yoga mat, beads of sweat or tears rolling down my face, plop!

What on Earth did I sign up for, I groan internally - internally because there's barely any air left in my lungs to force sounds out. 

The truth is, over the burn and ache from my unfit body is my heart yelling, You better stick to it!  For too long I've been pledging, promising, declaring that I'll start exercising, being more active, taking care of my body. Yet, years later, the most I've been able to commit to is an hour of yoga therapy per week (thanks Trishan!). As beneficial as that has been, I have to admit that my body needs more activity.  

One of the first things you'll hear when you start a new fitness programme or commit to a lifestyle change is that you need a goal, an endgame, something to work towards. Mine is fairly simple - I want to feel more comfortable in my body. Does that mean dropping 50lbs, being able to bench press 100lbs or do a minute-long plank? Nope! 

Here's the truth - I'm bipolar and on medication that makes me gain weight. To add to that I have Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) which makes it hard to lose weight - especially from my tum-tum. So no, losing weight is not my main goal. BUT it would be great to not huff and puff JUST to put on my bra or rest for a few minutes after putting on my jeans or boots. I just want to be comfortable in ole gal, I want to know that the body I'm in is being well taken care of and loved. 

Sis has been doing a good job so far and I owe it to us to make the extra effort. When I saw Sharon Feanny's post about wanting to award scholarships to her Shakti at Home programme I knew this was a sign. Incidentally, the night before I saw her post I had sat down with my other half and we had a chat about our health then decided that we needed to get more active. I went as far as to do my measurements and actually looked at the numbers (not something I like to do because they tend to be so disappointing). There was no way I would just let that opportunity pass by so I reached out, applied and now here I am, arms throbbing, skin covered in sweat, feeling like I just made the first step to a great change. 

Right this minute my cup is full (of water), my heart is full and open and my body is ready for day 2!


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Mom I Am

When I found out I was pregnant, I was shellshocked. Not shocked by the pregnancy but shocked by the reality of the situation. I was in my second year of university, dealing with very many personal issues and certain I didn't want children. I was sure I was pregnant before I did the test and even more certain that the confirmation would be too much for me to handle. So much so, actually, that I did the test right before my therapy session so I could immediately unload on my therapist. One little line, one small marking that completely changed my life, my identity, my purpose. We often hear moms saying that they don't want to be boxed in as 'just a mom', and as one such mom, I fully agree. But here's the fact: 'mom' is so big a role, so encompassing a responsibility, that it in so many ways overshadow any other label we previously had. Honestly, for a while, it felt as much like a diagnosis as it did a title. I couldn't simply go to the pharmacist a...
Post a Comment
Read more

Shakti Journey: What Do I Really Want?

Captains Log: Day 2 Today was significantly different from yesterday's session. Our practice was mostly based in yoga which my body has got used to after weeks of yoga therapy. It felt good to make moves my body found familiar and I was a lot more comfortable today. As fate would have it - today we were asked to think about what we want most. The list started reeling off in my head but everything seemed to boil down to just one thing - stability. My insomnia gave me a hard time to fall asleep last night so this time I decided to add my sleeping mix. I'm currently feeling so grounded and calm from the session and I can feel my pill lulling me some more. Feeling the effects is reminding me of how much I wish I could function better without al the pills and therapy and precautions. But stability in my mental and physical health isn't all I need - I need it throughout my life. Within my home, my work, my interactions with others. The crippling anxiety that I deal with on a regu...
Post a Comment
Read more