Shakti Journey: What Do I Really Want?

Captains Log: Day 2

Today was significantly different from yesterday's session. Our practice was mostly based in yoga which my body has got used to after weeks of yoga therapy. It felt good to make moves my body found familiar and I was a lot more comfortable today. As fate would have it - today we were asked to think about what we want most. The list started reeling off in my head but everything seemed to boil down to just one thing - stability.

My insomnia gave me a hard time to fall asleep last night so this time I decided to add my sleeping mix. I'm currently feeling so grounded and calm from the session and I can feel my pill lulling me some more. Feeling the effects is reminding me of how much I wish I could function better without al the pills and therapy and precautions. But stability in my mental and physical health isn't all I need - I need it throughout my life. Within my home, my work, my interactions with others.

The crippling anxiety that I deal with on a regular basis, the mood swings, the issues with income, my PCOS, my struggles with mom guilt, my constant juggling of projects and feelings of inadequacy. What I want, need, more than anything else right now is a sense of stability. With that, my heart will be happy and my cup will be full.